so ummm, yeah...

Its been awhile!

Lots has happened. Both good and, well, not so good. But in the end, its all good, right????

Someone please tell me its all good!

I've been doing a lot of work. Finding doctors, finding therapists, going to appointments, visiting the hospital, talking to lawyers, listening, asking questions....why him Lord? Why the Hell Him??????

Its not Little Man. He's been great. So great that I miss telling the blogosphere about him. He's been my shining star through all this. But I have to take care of ME. I have been in survival mode for way too long and I've decided that this year, 2012, the light at the end of the tunnel will not be a train! (can you tell I've seen a lot of lights at the end of a lot of tunnels?)

I've purposely stepped away from the blog because I had a feeling that there would be a time where this place was the only place that I could go. I could type my words raw and get out what has been renting space in my head since seeing a therapist of my own (the thought!!!) is for the foreseeable future, not in the cards.

I've stepped away knowing that I might be forgotten (but maybe not?) taking my blog address off my facebook page so family and friends I see daily/often enough will not see it (or heaven forbid be offended by it!) because in the spirit of Festivus I have some airing of grievances to do. Even though this year ended so much better than last year, better than I had even dared to hope for. I have some grievances.

I've been thinking A LOT about divorce. Specifically, my husband's. That's right. His divorce. Not mine. Right there is a big light bulb moment for me. Too bad it went off now, not 10 months ago. Would have saved a lot of grief. and money. and time. and grief. oh, and money.

Divorce sucks. It plain and simple sucks. All parties lose. The wife loses, Lord knows the husband loses, but no one loses more than the kids. They don't ask for it. The adults do. The kids just wind up paying for it. The only winners are the lawyers and I don't know how they look at themselves in the mirror. Especially with the ones I've had to deal with. And its not even my divorce!

 

So there it is-

I will air my grievances.

I will take "me" time when I need to.

I will celebrate my kids because they rock.

I will change my family and ultimately my life. 

 

2012? Bring it Mayans!